Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
