never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
