Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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