I think I died a long time ago.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
