I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Small penises have feelings too.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
