Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
