The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Its about making memories worth repressing
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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