ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
