id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
