..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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