The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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