I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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