Your face is a jimmy john
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
