Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
