WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
