So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hippo gnu deer
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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