You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
