i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize