if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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