I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
