I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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