I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize