What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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