Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
