oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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