We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
