So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
