he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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