my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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