i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
