its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Come on in and take your pants off
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