It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
