everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
