Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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