from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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