I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
