Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We don't watch enough power rangers
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
