I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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