She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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