he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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