hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
