should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
