Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
how drunk are you?
Several
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
