I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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