when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
