another moral hangover. fuck.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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