oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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