So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
