in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
