If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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