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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Promise me you won't have sex in my room

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.

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• (718): View more from New York

  You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.

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• (585): View more from New York

  we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.

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