Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor