I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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