i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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