god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i think my mom watched the whole time
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's blow job season.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
