okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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