i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
