well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Text me some of your sweat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
