i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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