the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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