Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
