I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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