So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
