I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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