Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
